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| {{Microsoft Zone
| | #REDIRECT[[Microsoft Zone Archive/Player Chronicles/Player Kill]] |
| | Link = http://zone.msn.com/asheronscall/ASHEalioshka.asp
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| | Date =
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| | Title = A Funny Thing Happened on the Road Today . . .
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| | Text = The valiant knight Alioshka has just emerged from his first trip to the Glenden Wood dungeon, where he's been lost for a number of hours, chopping up zombies and the like. As usual, he's loaded with stuff to sell to the local merchants.
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| <br><br>Upon reaching the surface, just a short distance from town, he is accosted by Green Knight (not his real name), a fourth-level warrior and first-rate annoyance. Will Alioshka bear this torment like a true and noble paladin, keeping the spirit of vengeance from his heart while selflessly offering aid?
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| <br><br>Nope.
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| <br><br><font color=#FFFFFF>'''My First Player Kill (A True Story)'''</font>
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| <br>''By Alioshka''
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| <br><br>Green Knight: "Hey, Alioshka, where did you get all that cool armor?"
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| <br><br>Alioshka: "Ehhh, magic. It's grafted to my skin."
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| <br><br>Green Knight: "Cool, can you give me some?"
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| <br><br>Alioshka: "Sorry, I'm still using it."
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| <br><br>Green Knight: "Where'd you come from?"
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| <br><br>Alioshka: "Underground, actually -- I've just come up for a bit of fresh air."
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| <br><br>Green Knight: "How do I get armor like yours?"
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| <br><br>Alioshka: "Kill monsters. Loot corpses. Sell items. Get pyreals. Trade pyreals for armor at a smith's."
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| <br><br>Green Knight: "You can't just give me yours?"
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| <br><br>Alioshka: "I'd love to, but I really need it to keep the banderlings from crunching my soft flesh."
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| <br><br>Green Knight: "Can you show me how to get to the nearest town?"
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| <br><br>Alioshka: "Uh, you're in it."
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| <br><br>Green Knight: "Duh! Idiot! I mean *another* town!"
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| <br><br>Alioshka: "Look on your map -- it shows *all* the towns and where you are in relation to them."
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| <br><br>Green Knight: "But I can't find any towns! I want to go to a big city! I want cool armor like yours!"
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| <br><br>Alioshka: "Hmmm."
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| <br><br>Green Knight: "Is there a portal around here?"
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| <br><br>Alioshka [grinning]: "Oh yes, let me show you a real interesting one!"
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| <br><br>Alioshka walks over to the "North Direlands" portal and points to it.
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| <br><br>Alioshka: "That one goes to a really interesting place!"
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| <br><br>Green Knight: "Thanks, I really appreciate it!"
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| <br><br>Green Knight walks through the portal...
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| <br><br>Alioshka [to whoever is within listening distance]: "Whew!!!"
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| <br><br>[10 seconds later.] @tell from Green Knight: "YOU JERK!!! I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE!"
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| <br><br>Alioshka thinks to himself, "Gee, I'll bet he learns how to use his map now... Well, one can hope..."
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| <br><br>@tell from Alioshka: "Really? Hmmm, must have been the wrong portal!"
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| <br><br>[10 seconds later.] Green Knight appears next to the Glenden Woods lifestone.
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| <br><br>Green Knight: "I DIED!!!! I HATE YOU!!! I HAVE NO MONEY AND NO ARMOR!!!"
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| <br><br>Alioshka: "*sigh* Tell you what, Green Knight, I'll give you 5,000 pyreals to leave me alone."
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| <br><br>Green Knight strikes a fighting pose.
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| <br><br>Green Knight: "I WISH WE *COULD* FIGHT!!!"
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| <br><br>Green Knight takes off at a run. Alioshka [shakes head]: "Perplexing fellow, that."
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| ____________
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| * [[Player Chronicles|<font color=#FFFFCC><u>Back to Player Chronicles</u></font>]]
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| }}
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| [[Category:Fan Fiction]]
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